Thursday, December 31, 2009

The ESL Dating Diaries entry #4

Hi! Have good day! The computer in a service acquaintances found to me some structures
of the people, which coincide with mine by inquiry. I previously studied them and has
decided to send you to first the message because your structure seems to me more
interesting. I hope, that you have time to send me some messages, That we could better
learn each other. I shall tell slightly about myself; mine Age 26 years, the friends name me
Olga. I was not behind the husband and I live in an apartment my parents. In 2002 I have
finished Medical university, and 4 years I to work nurse in hospital of the city. To me to
like active rest, periodically I am engaged by sports for maintenance of a body. I love to
travel and to be in different Places, but my work does not allow me to do it frequently. I
have much the friends, we sometimes together spend time, we play in billiards and
bowling, We have other entertainment. I send you the picture, that you knew My person.
Also I want to ask you to send me some pictures you. Please ask things, interesting for
you, about me and inform me some The information on you: what you love an
entertainment? What your character? What Qualities you love in the women? Whether you
had the wife? I shall answer on Your questions and to inform you it is more about itself in
the following E-mail! I shall wait Your messages. Your friend Olga.

Hi! I do have good day, you are the psychic one. Glad for you I am of the
computer services found to you by acquaintances of yours, and inquiry made by
you. Which sections of structure of mine is most intellectually stimulating for
brain of yours? I do find myself having brackets of time in which I could further
make the communications with person you, for knowing of you would be the
pleasure of mine. As for tellings of myself, I have been in existence for 31 years,
the parents named me Dan, but friends call me Dangard, Danarchy, or "that
crazy fucker!". I too was not behind anyone, wedding bells have never been
heard by me, but hopeful to me for listening to them at further way time event.
In 2003 school was begun for me, and hopeful I am to still someday achieve
psychology degree, but injury to brain of mine has progress slowed for me. I am
currently making of employment by way of fast food restaurant, but I am liking this
work, for these are good people, and continuing my employment there I will do
until further re-entrance at school at later days.
I am liking spendings of time in bed asleep, especially when the headache
defeats me like the wrestling match with a Russian bear. The active one I am
not, beer muscles are growing at catastrophic level. Activity more good, but
headaches would crash, and intensity plus! I too sent you the picture, but picture
already used in profile Me, so already known of you by the person me? To tell
what I love an entertainment, I like car crashes! Moving films with crashes of
vehicles making adrenaline me surge, and music of noise with many guitars and
drums speeding, with man screaming! Enjoyment fast cars, fast music, and
simple women! I never had the wife, women flee my psychosis. I am the wild one
who does not stop to smell the roses. I am train wreck.
Day good-

The ESL Dating Diaries

Has anyone else in here ever been on a dating site and received a reply from a woman who speaks horribly broken English? Can you imagine how much fun it would be to reply back in broken English? I first tried it 3 years ago, and thought it was funny enough that I thought I should post them in my blog for my friends to get a laugh or two out of it. I was shocked-I was just aiming locally & I reached England!
The blog wound up developing a cult following, I started reading it at open mic night at the college. It turned out that every woman I wrote to was just trying to get me to send money overseas. I caught on & simply dragged them along as long as possible to milk as many jokes out of it as I could. Some of the strangest sentences i've ever seen came out of these e-mails. I had one that turned the sunset into the scarlet decline, that one took me a few minutes to figure out.
This past summer, my work situation looked ugly enough that I got desperate enough to try & turn the entire collection fo them into a book, and I wound up signing with a literary agency that's trying to get me a book deal out of it. They only work on commission so i'm still encouraged even though they haven't gotten me a deal yet.
I have uploaded it into Amazon's kindle section, and almost went into print. Luckily, I ordered a "proof" copy & looked it over & realized it looked like a well put together, really big college term paper. I've almost finished fixing it, and I plan to order a new "proof" copy on Friday. If it arrives as quickly as the first proof, I should be able to start selling printed copies of my book, The ESL Dating Diaries: A Collection of Broken English Love Letters, by the end of next week.
If this book does well, you should see what I have planned for a follow up :)