Again I wait.....
Again I wait. I wait it is not known that. Sometimes I so am to be trusted in a miracle. I know: silly, fondly, but only so it is possible to rescue hope. Hope that all will be good that I am still necessary to you, at least slightly. To me it is difficult without you, native.
Very difficultly. Certainly, I understand, that to you all the same. To you it is absolutely indifferent, that somewhere away the enamored little girl wants only one: that about it recollected. At least sometimes.
So, by the way. My God, if though somebody knew, how I love you! I did not think, that so happens. I always lived under freedom slogan. Always.... There was no Yet you. While I have not understood, that the world without you is not meaningful.
At times I hate myself that is ready to throw and arrive all to you for ever. If you only have hinted. But you are silent. It is proud and is indifferent. I understand: probably, business in me. When you have understood, what I belong only to you? When to you it became uninteresting? It is wrong, to love too strongly. But in another way I am not able. Forgive me for it, favorite.
You know, it is unimportant, that waits for me ahead. Such love is not forgotten and does not pass. She will always live in me. You for ever will remain the unique person whom I loved, I love and I will love all life. Has no value, there will be we together or not. Simply I ask you, I beg: be happy. And if you are assured, that I cannot make you happy, find that which can. And I will tell to it thanks. Sincerely and in all sincerity, because for me there is nothing more expensively your smile. I am grateful to you that you have learnt me to love, blindly and recklessly.
Both let it painfully and tears me every second to slices, let sometimes I have a desire all to forget and to recollect never-never, the most important thing that gives me forces: you are live. We with you breathe same air, though and for hundreds kilometers from each other. We with you look in one and too the sky and we see the identical moon.
Allow me to believe that sometime we will look together at this moon, having joined hands. And
everything, that was, remains simply bad dream. I do not ask much, simply allow me to dream. Accept from me for memory my soul. As a souvenir. Put it on a shelf.
And if to you it becomes sad, look at it, at least for a moment. And this knickknack suddenly will tell: "All will be good, After all I love you". And you together will wink at stars. And all will be valid well. Because the present love is able to work wonders.
If this one is real, she better be pursuing a career as a poet.
And finally I reply. I write more good, but often speak by me that not know how I done went and did that. I do not trust miracles, sadly, I believe hope died five years ago in a tragic accident. I do still hope that I will view your person someday, not merely in the photograph, but person to person! Your person to my person! Not only personally written emails, and personally made to picture, but actually person to person!
To me it is wishes that it would have you here and it would be more the simple with co-pilot: to keep me from crashing when out of control. To maneuver the treacherous path life donated to my person without going over cliff. I recognize that to you, it would be made to be more simple if to written back from me received daily, but I am not possible to give you less than 100% of me!
On days some from the work I to go and return home feeling horrible, and easily it is not energy to do much of anything but sleep. So to make writings where I insert 100% of my heart and soul, it cannot be made to happen sometimes. Also, your God is my God too, I wish we could just get all these Gods to get along. I always lived in a van down by the river in my previous life. I was named Jewel. I was a folk singer, with long beautiful hair, I had a great set of hooters....sorry, I got sidetracked, where was I?
I too feel that a world with no Svetlana would have no definition! I often hate myself too, too easily because my self-destructive path is often too much so. I would thoroughly enjoy it if you were to arrive to me (hint hint!!!!). It is important to know that which lies ahead in our paths, it can prevent us from stepping in doggie doo!
I will admit it became uninteresting when the sex got boring, but you could fix that by sending more scantily clad photos of your person! I feel my inner demons will always live in me, but maybe you could help exercise them? Your person has been gifted with the ability to create in me the happy person, and I tell it thanks a thousand times for it! I was made to not trust it by the whores of the past, but you have restored it! I will now trust all whores I meet in the future, but only ones met through time machines!
Did you make witness the moon on Monday night? It was amazement! Venus and Jupiter were so close to the moon and so bright that it appeared like a smiley face in Asia! I wonder you made witness the same event? I will imagine that it witness was made us both, and you enjoyed it so, much as I did! I shall accept your soul as souvenir to put on a shelf. I must say you are so lucky I am not the devil : ) I shall think of your person when next witness the falling star....poor Britney; I am glad she's getting her life back together. Maybe someday we will too.