The Gynecologist & The Midget Crackhead, Part I

I know I've been using the woman's name in the title lately, but I just couldn't think of anything funny with Kristina to turn into a title. So, I just thought, what's the funniest thing I can do in this situation? Find a way to describe the potential couple that would make them sound like quite the odd couple. I think I succeeded, what do you guys think?

Hello, I just check my email and I am glad to see your response,
so do you use yahoo personals for long time ? Well, I am not from United States and I am from Moldova, Camenca. If you see the distance could be problem just let me know and I am understand also, but who know. Yahoo gave me no chance to indicate my location because it seems not popular here at all, and I had to put it as US, so have you ever date someone from an other country and do you think it could be possible for you ?
Now about what bring me to internet. This month my dog named Angela died and I felt terrible and co-worker told to me I should try Internet and she be lived it can make me feel better, I make this email address for its memory. These days I am much better. I can speak and write English and if you have any difficult in understanding my writings, just let me know.
I will try to describe myself and will be short so if you feel interest you can send me an answer, my computer is need to be fixed and they have told to me they will get it in three weeks maximum so I use internet cafe now to write you from here, I will be back in a few days to check for your answer.
My name is Kristina, I am 29 years old and my birthday is 5th of April, looking for serious relations only, not fan, virtual, nude, chat, etc. Finished with ex boyfriend half year before and single this days. What is about you? Do you have any bad habits? I do not smoke,
do not drink often, and have never tried any kind of drugs. My weight is 118 lbs and 5.6 tall, not too large lady for you? Just joking!
I keep in fit and like different activities, let me know what activities you like? I hope you do not think that watching TV with bottle of bear every evening is good activity :)) What do you do for living? I work as doctor (gynecologist) in the Hospital.
What is about your family? I have no kids by myself but have a lot of relatives, send me some pics of your family if you have. Have you ever been traveling abroad? What country do you wish to visit the most? I enjoy traveling very much. I need to go now, let me know if you got my pic
Kristina

One more thing I gotta add-I think this phrase I caught made me think of a “short” male character: I will try to describe myself and will be short . I definitely described myself as short!

Hello Kristina!
Sorry on a slow response, I am a writer a lot. I use yahoo personals much, if I make it to a use more it will need to be application on computer J I am from Untied States, but I guess you can know it obvious. So, I must ask the question, where is Camenca? I am guess Russian in nature since city name Moldova, but wrong could be indicated by you. I am apologies your country is not popular. Yahoo should recognize it anyways, it is a country, there are clearly daters there, I mean, there is you.
I have not had the date with foreign woman, and my dog is not dead. However, we both have other things to relate to. I am not short, but I speak English. I am 34 years old, and my birthday is July . I search the good woman for serious relations, not imaginary friend, text, not clothing optional, I am too shy. I finished burying my ex two days ago. She went through windshield when she drove drunk and was made to land in a field of rocks.
I will admit I have bad habits too, my ex and I shared bad habits. I drink a 30 pack of beer a day since funeral, I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, and sometimes I like to smoke crack. Not often, definitely not at work or before, but on day off it is great for a relaxed. My height of 3’2”, and weight of 175 lbs. I am not fit, but I do fit in some suitcases! This would make for less travel expense when we to travel on a trip together!
For activities, I will do anything but go to circus. They have tried to kidnap me & force me to work on many occasion, I will not absolute do it! I work at library as a book re-stocker. I enjoy climbing shelves, climbing is many an enjoyment for me. I have not the kids either, but siblings have them. I have not traveled with a broad, but would like to visit Russia! I got your pic, I need to upload some of mine on here.
Dan