Saturday, December 18, 2010

ESL Dating Reply #44: The Saga of the Very Vigorous and Rectilinear Girl

I spotted this one by accident, I swear it was just plain luck. Here is her "about me’ section in her profile, which made it a dead giveaway:

That I could tell about myself, the simple and cheerful girl, sometimes timid, dreaming of the prince on a white game, I like walks on parks, coast of the rivers and lakes, rest on fresh air, I like to laugh. Very vigorous and rectilinear girl. The romantic soul, is pleasant to sit evenings at home, to make a fine supper, to look transfers or films on the TV. I will tell to you more at our personal conversation. I search for the fair and decent man who can really give to the girl happiness, care and love. I as would like to find the father for our future children! Today I do not have children, but I hope, that there is a man who wishes to have a family and to have children! I know, that was not present in the world of ideal people, but the love exists! My search of the man understanding, with a segment of humor, cheerful, cheerful and at the same time serious and exact. I hope, that there are such men in it the world.

And now, the email I sent her. "In a world where cruel & heartless bastards like me send emails poking fun at bad English, one man would rise above all else and make English more unrecognizable than …"
O.K., seriously, here you go:

Здравствуите! (pronounced zdravstvootye in English)
I to make the view of profile yours, and enjoyment much by I. I, I like games, but I am not sure what meant you by white games, I hope you not the racist? I like Scrabble and Monopoly, and Risk. and Ms. Pac Man. I also like rest on fresh air, oxygen is good for the body, for we would die without it. I look at transfers as well, they are scattered all over the floor on the bus. I try to avoid the ones nearby the smelly homeless guy though. I can give happiness, as it is free with the purchase of any medium sized drink. As seen by you, I do have a segment of humor, and the heart of goodness, so please to tell more of you?

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