Saturday, December 18, 2010

ESL Dating Reply #15: The End?

I made my weirdest one yet, I think. I just told her I am going to go become a secret agent, because it appeared to me that she referred to me as , "you the agent". If she emails me again, I am going to refer to myself as Agent double o zero instead of Dan. Also, I can't help but notice she seems to keep having gender identity issues-now she is the independent man! On the bright side, I have figured out how to do this sort of thing myself if I ever wanted to, there are just three easy steps in the formula:

1-She has to gradually establish that I am alone, lacking a female companion here. By
using this information, she builds a perceived closeness with me through her emails to me.

2-She assures me that I AM A STRONG MAN, and I can do anything to help her,
because we will be together when we get her financial woes taken care of. She is playing
on the first step by telling me how much she wants us to be together.

3-She establishes that she needs my help, and that I can do it, since I am A STRONG
MAN.

Hi favorite Dan!
I am glad to read your message and to learn, that I can hope for your help in payment of agency. Dear, I feel myself slightly inconveniently. Because I had to address to you behind the help. I always considered myself as the independent man, which can decide all problems. But, this time, I could not all take into account and was mistaken that I can itself to pay all travel.
When I traveled earlier, it cost for me less. But I is happy, that now at me there is you, Dan- a man, which can come to me to the aid and help me in life. After ours acquaintances, at me varies sensations itself. Earlier I considered myself as the strong and independent man, and it was pleasant To feel, that I can care of myself. And now I feel myself simply by woman, which requires support. But it is pleasant for me, to feel beside the strong man, which protects me from all excitements of life!
Dan, I have informed a place of arrival to you the agent and it expected the stayed charges for me. It will be for me 1350 $. Here tickets, insurance, road up to the airport and some other necessary charges. I still had money, After payment of the first part of cost. It about 600 $, and now me is necessary, through 6-7 days about 750 $, to pay in Agency the second part of cost of travel. I hope dear, that this money not difficulty for you and you can help To me to pay, in 6-7 days, 750 $ in agency. I shall learn from the agent, as you can send them it.
Lovely, I hope, that I did not do to you difficulties by the haste. Probably it is the not planned expenditure for you. If it so, do not become angry with me please! I very much miss on you and I wait for our meeting. I wait for your messages Dan!

Thousand kisses.

Yours Olga.

It’s time to tell her again it is an impossible expenditure.

Hi favorite Olga! Knowing not of other Olga's, but did I even know them, yours would be favorite still! I think I know not why you are hopeful of help of mine in moneys for the travel, my health is afflicting work schedule mine, and money is less. If it is so inconvenient to feel yourself, I would be happy to offer a hand, but I am so far away.
Maybe time of next you to address to me in front of the help? Would that feel you better? I would! I have always seen to me as the independent woman, I do all things by myself, including bathing and feeding! If you had researched before to go spending on visa and ticket, you could have discovered short comings, but you overseas women always seem to jump first, and then discover safety net not there. Why was it cost you less when traveled you last time? Was distance not as long in journey for to go?
Worry not you, you are strong woman, you can find way to come here; as you said in earlier email, not even money can stop you! If manage you to arrive here, I will take care of room and board. I have spare bed which pulls out from under mine, we will just be two happy teddy bears together!
I'm confused, when did I become the agent? You informed a place of travel to me, the agent? I have always wanted to be a James Bond type, so I guess I to go make plastic badge and become secret agent, traveling the world to foil crime of terrorists! Thank you Olga for inspiration and direction! I shall never forget you, for inspiration and direction, I shall now become secret agent! Maybe we can meet up someday in our travels together, I might even end up in Russia chasing terrorist who plots terrorism! Goodbye for now and endless thanks, I to go catch terrorists!

Dan

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